Soon-to-be PM Najib announces he will join with Mahathir to take on Abdullah / Anwar

(TPT) – PUTRAJAYA: Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak announced this morning in a joint conference that he will be tag-teaming with former Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad and will officially throw down a challenge to Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Badawi and PKR de facto leader Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim to appear in a regulated match on the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) network.

When asked for the reason for this sudden decision, DPM Najib replied that the match will bring economic benefits to Malaysia, much as the decision to bring Formula 1 racing to Malaysia had put Sepang on the international events calendar. He also stressed that the wrestling match was in no way related to the lunch that PM Abdullah had shared with Datuk Seri Anwar on Tuesday in Hulu Langat, Selangor, as part of the Maulid Rashul (Prophet Muhammad’s birthday) celebrations.

“I know some people will say that this match is in retaliation for the lunch in Hulu Langat.

“While I feel saddened that the Prime Minister has decided on a policy of rapprochement with regards to the Anwar clique, and while I will not say that I do not feel spurned by the fact that I was not invited, what I do know is that this match is an essential part of the stimulus package that my ministry has come up with to fight this recession,” said DPM Najib, while emphasizing the word “fight.” The DPM is also the Minister of Finance.

Also present were DPM Najib’s teammate Tun Dr Mahathir and WWE chairman Vince McMahon, who put on a supportive front throughout the conference.

“I want to say that I’m grateful to the Deputy Prime Minister for giving the WWE an opportunity to expand into Asia,” drawled McMahon. “Certainly the beautiful country of Malaysia is known for mud-slinging that is increasingly commonplace since March 2008, and this gives us plenty of recruitment possibilities for colorful participants that are necessary for our kind of entertainment.

“We’ve had discussions with the Malaysian authorities and we agree that if this exhibition match turns out to be a crowd pleaser, we will set up a permanent venue outside the Dewan Rakyat where contestants, fresh from exasperating sessions at the Dewan, can vent their frustrations at each other in the arena. You could be looking at matches such as Karpal “The Lion” Singh vs. “The UMNO Punks” Ungku Mat Salleh and Megat Zulkamain Omardin. We are planning to call this venture World Wrestling Malaysian Maniacs (W2M2) and I’m sure it’ll awe anyone in the region who tunes in to this show.”

Tun Dr Mahathir “Old Horse” Mohamad noted that he was happy to assist his former protégé DPM Najib and that he was looking forward to the match. “I’ve been working out more often now, and I’m preparing some moves that just might surprise you. It will be great to step into the ring with Anwar again and try out my “Sodomy Piledriver”.”

The DPM revealed he will assume the stage name “The Prince of Darkness,” but has kept silent on what his specialty moves will be. According to our sources, a lot of noises could be heard outside his residence in the wee hours of the morning, and this led our correspondent to speculate that his trainer could be none other than the former Women’s World Heavyweight champion Rosmah. Whether the noises were made by the DPM or Rosmah could not be discerned.

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