In an impromptu drinking session with the press, Penang Chief Minister voiced grievances over Pakatan Rakyat, amongst other matters

(TPT) – GEORGETOWN: Penang Chief Minister and DAP chief Lim Guan Eng did the unthinkable during a press conference when he suddenly pulled out a carton of Tiger beer and requested reporters to join him in a drink, adding that the drinks were on the house since they had been given as free samples by Guinness Anchor Bhd (http://www.gab.com.my/) who were intending to be appointed the official beverage supplier to the proposed tiger park.

“Drink, drink. Don’t be shy. I won’t hold myself back. I’m celebrating my victory today,” slurred a slightly tipsy Lim, who was sporting bruises around his jaw line and a hastily-concealed black eye covered imperfectly by foundation.

When asked what he was celebrating, Lim had replied that he had just scored a point for the DAP on the Pakatan Rakyat (PR) front.

“Anwar, Syed, Zahrain and Choo Keong had me cornered in a back alley off Anwar’s usual haunt around Lorong Love late last night to confront me over what I had said to the press the past few weeks over the DCM 1 issue. Heng heng Tony responded to my SOS call earlier and arrived on time to save the day.”

Dato’ Seri Anwar Ibrahim is the PR de-facto leader, Dr Syed Husin is the PKR deputy president, Datuk Zahrain Mohamed Hashim is the Penang PKR chief, while Wee Choo Keong is a PKR supreme council member. Tony Pua is DAP’s national publicity secretary.

“We slugged it out with the thugs, and it wasn’t easy getting them to see our point. We took a lot of flak for it, as you can see,” Lim continued as he pointed to his injuries.

“We did it, Tony and I. We finally showed ‘em who was the big boss of Penang. We were a great team, Tony and I…*hic*

“Faced with our superior firepower, the PKR thugs finally agreed to put up and shut up. Also we forced them to make a few concessions along the way. For example, the biggest concession we got was that they will finally name a new DCM 1 candidate to replace the one that they quietly pulled away from my state government on the sly.

“I’m so elated to be finally scoring points against PKR. You have no idea how much humiliation I had to put up with from my father and Kapal. They were practically laughing at me behind my back when I was left out in the cold in the decision to make Fairus resign.”

Lim’s father is DAP stalwart and former chairman Lim Kit Siang, while Kapal Singh is the current DAP chairman. Mohamad Fairus Khairuddin is the former Deputy Chief Minister 1 of Penang.

“A lot of people think that being Chief Minister is a great achievement. What they don’t realize is how hard and uncomfortable the job is. I’m always being dogged by the opposition BN on the DCM issue, and they are always asking me questions that I can’t answer. Like “why did Fairus resign” or “why must a Malay from PKR be the DCM 1 and not a person with the most merit, regardless of race.” My friends, I also want to know the answers to those questions.”

Lim also ranted about the privileges given to the Penang Chief Minister’s office.

“You didn’t hear me complain, but the car and residence given to me were horrible man! I mean the first day I entered the house there were cockroaches infesting the place! And such gaudy renovations left behind by the last occupant! Like something out of a bad 1980s gangster movie…”

We talk to the Men on the Rapid Penang Bus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_man_on _the_Clapham_omnibus) to find out where they think their (former) Deputy Chief Minister is headed.

(TPT) – GEORGETOWN: It was hot, it was dusty, it stank of vehicle fumes and your correspondent was utterly exhausted. For our readers’ sake however, this correspondent will do everything he can to bring you the latest up-to-date tidbits on Penang’s man of the moment.

Mohammad Fairus Khairuddin resigned from his posts of Deputy Chief Minister I and state executive councilor on Saturday. Of course, this had been known to everyone but Fairus as long ago as July last year, so nobody could be said to have been surprised at this development. However, we found that many Penangites still doubted whether Fairus had stepped down from his posts willingly, or if something more nefarious had happened to him. Here we present some of the opinions heard from passengers on board a Rapid Penang bus on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

“Everyone knows Anwar said Fairus has resigned to pursue further studies. Why Anwar seems to know more about Fairus’s personal life than Fairus’s own boss is beyond me. But if Anwar says it’s true, then it’s definitely true,” said a female passenger just before alighting the bus with a toddler in tow.

“Aiyah, stop beating around the bush lah!” exclaimed a middle-aged man with early-onset balding. “He was fired lah! So hard to see meh? The “post-graduate studies” reason is so obviously a face-saving measure. Just wait and see what he gets up to next if you don’t believe me.”

“My cousin works at an employment agency and she says she’s seen an application from a “Mohammad Fairus Khairuddin” who’s applying for a toilet janitor position. It’s too much of a coincidence if you ask me,” commented a tertiary student who was seated with her friends.

“I saw Fairus yesterday evening! He was walking drunkenly around Jalan Batu Ferringi, asking tourists to give him a merciful end. Later I heard from a friend that some men in white uniforms pulled up in a truck, put a straight jacket on him and bundled him into the vehicle. I swear it’s the truth!” opined a woman who revealed that she worked in the F&B industry.

“Fairus has been abducted by aliens. There’s no doubt about it. Why else has no one seen him?” asked a passenger with a straggly beard. “I ought to know. I was once abducted by aliens near Lorong Love. They… conducted experiments on me. It was horrible. I was probed.”

“You know how the aliens look like? They look like Anwar. Yes no doubt about it. I knew something was wrong the first time I saw him in the flesh.”

‘Fairus resigns for further studies (after his Certificate, Degree, MA and MBA)’

(TPT) – GEORGETOWN: Mohammad Fairus Khairuddin has resigned as Penang Deputy Chief Minister (1), revealed Penang Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng today.

According to Lim, Fairus’ resignation would take effect from April 8, but he would remain as Penanti state assemblyperson. Fairus has also resigned as the state Entrepreneurial, Cooperative Development, Information and Community Relations Committee chairperson. Lim said he accepted Fairus’ resignation and was pleasantly surprised by his given rationale.

“Well, he told me he wanted to go study. Funny, he never felt like the studying kind of person to me” Lim mused.

When contacted later in the day via SMS, Fairus said the resignation came following his decision to further his studies.

“Sebabnya adalah untuk melanjutkan pelajaran, (because I wish to go for further study),” said his SMS which was sent to this paper.

However, Fairus did not elaborate as to what and when he would like to further his studies.

“Impressive list of educational qualifications”

This ex-DCM listed a degree in Political Science and International Relations from Universiti Islam Anatarabangsa, a Syariah Studies Certificate from Universiti Malaya, a Masters in Strategic and Defence Studies and a MBA from a university from somewhere in the United Kingdom.

Certificates do not seem to be authentic

“I am not sure if his certificates are authentic, you know” an MP who represents a Kampung Ulu district in Penang said, agreeing to speak only on anonymous terms. “How can anyone study so much in such a short time?” he further quizzed.

Fairus’s record as DCM has been described as splotchy for the short timeframe he has been in office. Detractors have surfaced reports of Fairus missing in public events most of the time with various Penangites spotting him at Batu Ferringhi.

Further checks with CM Lim appear to validate claims of Fairus’s extra-curricular activities at the famous Penang beach.

“He needs to relax, he has told me before. Malays like to relax you know, and what more at Batu Ferringhi?” Lim answered matter-of-factly.

CM Lim then revealed that this was part of a major tourism drive that would be unveiled in time to come. Previously, plans had emerged of a tiger park to be situated in a hilly region of Penang.

“It will all be revealed, just wait for my news. Meanwhile, if anybody does see Fairus, ask him to come back lah. We still welcome him, fake certificates or not” he finished.