We talk to the Men on the Rapid Penang Bus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_man_on _the_Clapham_omnibus) to find out where they think their (former) Deputy Chief Minister is headed.
(TPT) – GEORGETOWN: It was hot, it was dusty, it stank of vehicle fumes and your correspondent was utterly exhausted. For our readers’ sake however, this correspondent will do everything he can to bring you the latest up-to-date tidbits on Penang’s man of the moment.
Mohammad Fairus Khairuddin resigned from his posts of Deputy Chief Minister I and state executive councilor on Saturday. Of course, this had been known to everyone but Fairus as long ago as July last year, so nobody could be said to have been surprised at this development. However, we found that many Penangites still doubted whether Fairus had stepped down from his posts willingly, or if something more nefarious had happened to him. Here we present some of the opinions heard from passengers on board a Rapid Penang bus on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
“Everyone knows Anwar said Fairus has resigned to pursue further studies. Why Anwar seems to know more about Fairus’s personal life than Fairus’s own boss is beyond me. But if Anwar says it’s true, then it’s definitely true,” said a female passenger just before alighting the bus with a toddler in tow.
“Aiyah, stop beating around the bush lah!” exclaimed a middle-aged man with early-onset balding. “He was fired lah! So hard to see meh? The “post-graduate studies” reason is so obviously a face-saving measure. Just wait and see what he gets up to next if you don’t believe me.”
“My cousin works at an employment agency and she says she’s seen an application from a “Mohammad Fairus Khairuddin” who’s applying for a toilet janitor position. It’s too much of a coincidence if you ask me,” commented a tertiary student who was seated with her friends.
“I saw Fairus yesterday evening! He was walking drunkenly around Jalan Batu Ferringi, asking tourists to give him a merciful end. Later I heard from a friend that some men in white uniforms pulled up in a truck, put a straight jacket on him and bundled him into the vehicle. I swear it’s the truth!” opined a woman who revealed that she worked in the F&B industry.
“Fairus has been abducted by aliens. There’s no doubt about it. Why else has no one seen him?” asked a passenger with a straggly beard. “I ought to know. I was once abducted by aliens near Lorong Love. They… conducted experiments on me. It was horrible. I was probed.”
“You know how the aliens look like? They look like Anwar. Yes no doubt about it. I knew something was wrong the first time I saw him in the flesh.”
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